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Have a damned good reason to lose weight
In his book Weight Loss for Food Lovers, Australian Psychiatrist Dr George Blair-West shows that fear is a stronger motivator for action than desire. He also shows that fear of (or desire for) experiences in the near future are much stronger motivators than fear of (or desire for) experiences in the more distant future.If you've ever lost weight for a wedding, major birthday or school reunion, for example, you already know how motivating short-term fears and desires can be for weight loss.
If you're struggling to lose weight or keep it off, you may like to consciously draw on the power of short-term fears and desires in order to push you onwards to the weight you're meant to be.
When I read Dr George Blair-West's book, something about the compelling way he explained things really clicked for me and I was able to use his ideas on short-term fears and desires to lose the last of my baby fat.
Two years ago in December I was packing suitcases in preparation for a massive European adventure with my husband and our son and daughter, then four and a half and one year old respectively.
My husband and I were excited about visiting friends, family and colleagues across Europe, but to be perfectly honest I was apprehensive about travelling in the dead of winter and living out of suitcases for an extended period of time. I knew that the sheer excitement and uncertainty of travel could make me turn to excess food for comfort and security.
The trouble was, with my book The Don't Go Hungry Diet due for release just one week after our scheduled return to Sydney, and with my publicist busily lining me up for a string of media appearances in the weeks right after my return, I was afraid of going on TV looking like I'd just given birth.
At 67 kilos and with 2 kilos still hanging off me after the birth of our daughter, I had no choice but to lose them in the next five weeks. This was a sizeable challenge, travel stress or no travel stress, because I hadn't been able to lose those last 2 kilos of baby fat for the past 6 months. Thankfully, however, Dr Blair-West's ideas made all the difference.
The first stop in our travels was Istanbul, the city where I first fell in love with Turkish jam, so choc-full of mountain strawberries or sour cherries that you have to chew it.
After sleeping scarcely a wink on the airplane and then spending my first night in Istanbul waking frequently to settle our jet lagged one year old, there's nothing like a breakfast of tea and crusty white bread with butter and huge gobs of Turkish jam to boost your energy levels.
But while my immediate fear of not having enough energy if I didn't load up on bread and Turkish jam was strong, my fear of possibly appearing before the cameras on the set of the Kerri-Anne Kennerley Show feeling large and bloated in several weeks' time was even stronger. I filled my breakfast with fruit, and then savoured one special piece of bread with my favourite jam and another cup of soothing tea.
Our next stop was Mugla in the south west of Turkey, the source of the most exquisite baklava I've ever known. When presented with a platter of this miraculous food one night after dinner, my immediate desire was to help myself to a generous serving. With both our children now sick with colds and sleeping badly, I craved copious sugar and fat to help me get through another long and restless night.
However, greater than my immediate desire for a heavy dose of soft crunchy baklava was my competing desire to wake up in the morning feeling light and hungry for breakfast, quietly content that I was on my way to my dreams. By conquering these last 2 kilos of baby fat, I'd be able to talk with conviction to the media about my research into weight loss without restriction, and I'd be able to help more people get out of the yo-yo diet trap. I took a smallish piece of baklava and savoured it with a cup of Turkish tea in a beautiful teacup and saucer. It still tasted phenomenal.
Our voyage across Europe took us to Geneva, the city where I did my PhD and learned the things that helped me to lose 28 kilos and keep it off for over ten years.
One of the things that always fascinated me about Geneva is its unbelievably good public transport. No matter where you want to go in the city or its immediate surrounds, there's a bus or a tram at your feet to take you there. I wanted to go everywhere we needed to go in Geneva on the bus or the tram, simply because we could. Additionally, as our son wasn't keen on walking long distances, and as our daughter frequently wanted to escape her stroller to experiment with her new walking skills, getting the bus or the tram was the most desirable option.
On the other hand, brewing inside me was a mammoth fear that if I didn't try to walk as much as I could while we were away, I wouldn't be able to fit back into the dresses I wanted to wear for my interviews with the media in several week's time.
So I planned my coup. As soon as our daughter settled into her stroller for her midday nap, or whenever she was tired out from the day and was happy to sit and be pushed, I suggested to my husband that we walk to our next destination. Our son got a lot of piggyback rides, so he was happy with the arrangement, too. Short-term fears and desires pushed me to do things that would have been easier not to do. The sensation of waking up feeling that I was becoming lighter and leaner reinforced my will to walk as much as I could, and I got into one of those satisfying cycles where success breeds success.
The day after we flew back into Sydney, I weighed myself on my trusty scales to find out how I'd gotten on in my holiday weight loss challenge.
I was overjoyed to find that - despite enjoying small but regular servings of all my favourite European foods and Swiss chocolate truffles while we were away - I weighed in at 63.8 kilos, a whole 3.2 kilos less than what I weighed when we left Sydney five weeks earlier.
In the 6 months before that trip, I hadn't found the motivation I needed to lose those last 2 kilos of baby fat. But with the incentive of possibly going on national TV and helping people across Australia to lose weight with insights from medical research, I lost even more weight than I anticipated, in a surprisingly short time.
That's the power of having a damned good reason to lose weight!
Over to you
Here's something you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.As you go about your life in the next few days, you may like to ponder the reasons why you want to lose weight and keep it off.
It's best not to focus on lofty ideas such as 'so I can be fit and healthy at eighty', unless of course your eightieth birthday is just around the corner. Those long-term visions won't help you when there's a plate of baklava right under your nose. Keep your focus mainly on the more immediate benefits you'll enjoy - and the more immediate downers you'll avoid - by getting this weight off and keeping it off.
What are you afraid will happen if you don't lose this weight, especially in the short-term? Acknowledge your deepest fears, but don't let them scare the pants off you. Push your fears aside by replacing them with thoughts of everything you want to be, do and have, especially in the short-term.
Do what it takes to get connected with your true desires, the real reasons why you - not your partner, friends, family or colleagues - want to lose weight and keep it off. When you spend a little time with yourself, doing things you love, your true desires will make themselves known to you. Keep pondering your true desires until you have a damned good reason to lose weight.
When you keep your damned good reasons for losing weight at the forefront of your mind, you'll find it easier to keep doing what you need to do to in order to succeed. Combine that with a non-restrictive diet, as recommended in my book The Don't Go Hungry Diet, and you have a recipe for making significant headway this month.
If you'd like to order a copy of Dr George Blair-West's book Weight Loss for Food Lovers to help you to find the motivation you need to stay on track and to avoid self-sabotage, click here.
Have a great month and until next time,
Amanda
Dr Amanda
Connect with your body
www.DrAmandaOnline.com
What our readers say...
"Dear Amanda, Well my goodness! I came across your website somewhere in the vastness of the internet and instantly identified with the way you presented your message. The only place in NZ I could locate a copy of your book was Nelson, so I waited patiently (not my strongest skill!) until Christmas when I knew I'd be joining my family there, and the first opportunity I got I bolted for Blackmores bookstore and grabbed a copy. I didn't get a chance to read it over Christmas but as soon as I got home to Wellington I opened it up and just couldn't put it down. To give you a bit of background about me, I'm 172cm & 63 kg. Not overweight really, although definitely carrying too much for my very slender bones and carrying it on my tummy & hips at that. Two years ago I joined a gym and followed their weight-loss programme. Portion control. Carb restriction. Protein increase. No more than 2 serves of fruit per day. I white-knuckled my way through the 12 week programme, and while I had more muscle at the end, I had almost as much body fat & in exactly the same places as when I started. On the outside, I looked just the same & my clothes didn't fit any differently. Grr! I don't even like sweet things all that much, but I tell you, when I couldn't have them what do you think I craved every day? That's right. By this time I was pretty upset. I'd been raised to think of food as a blessing, and here it looked like I was going to have to battle with it every day for the rest of my life. That particularly sucked, because there is nothing I would rather do than spend an afternoon with dear friends, laughing & eating a leisurely lunch I've prepared with love for us all. It is one of the true joys of my life. I started to wonder what the hell to do. I felt stuck. It depressed me to think of it. Life without delicious food is not life, it is existence and a poor one at that. It would not be overstating the case to say your book has been the ray of light I need. Recently I started questioning the people I grew up with who still eat the way they did when I was a child. I don't know if you spent any time in NZ in the '70s or '80s but there were a LOT of hippies around & not a single fat one among them and those who still eat that way are all still slender. Anyway, I've been asking them what they eat & why, and their answers are identical to those given in your book. It is just the best feeling of relief to have my fledgling theories confirmed by your science. In all this rambling, I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you very much. To be able to make these lunches for my friends & know that I'm doing a good thing, to be able to eat the food I enjoy in the quantities that feel right - well, it's freedom of the best kind. Bless you Amanda, I needed this. Warmest regards, L.B. P.S. I've recommended your book to the Oprah producers - probably should have asked you first so I hope that's OK with you! I don't know if they've covered it already but I suspect I would have heard if they had. If ever there was a country that needed your book it’s the USA! P.P.S. I have just experienced my first Famine Reaction, and it felt great! I could just feel my body saying wow, thanks! It lasted from Thursday morning until Saturday afternoon, when my body realised it didn't actually need any dinner because it was totally reassured that everything was fine. How utterly lovely to be giving myself what I need in such a satisfying and delicious way. I'll be back in Nelson in a fortnight and will be buying another copy of your book. I've been raving - evangelizing even - to my friends about it but I can't bear to lend it out because I'm using the recipes every day, as well as dipping into it for inspiration. But I do so want my friends to be able to read it that I've decided the best thing to do is have a 'me' copy and a 'friends' copy. "


